The Woes of One Who is Young and in Confusion

Excerpt 24 of the journal of Marcel Fisher, son of Lumen Fisher of Staffons and Gwenethlane Lamisine of the noble house Felisima, Paladin of the Shield in the Holy Order of Lothar, savior of the prince elect of the royal line of Ania, and last student of the fabled knight Saber Dharst.

I talked to the heroes of Shelter Lake today. It was challenging as I was forced to appeal to them with both integrity and honesty, engaging to the nature of them as individuals. While I can’t place my church appointed quest above that of my vows as a paladin, I must admit that the opportunity to gain both notoriety and the ability to spread the holistic power of Lothar has a note of grandeur. It was with this attitude I understood something; sometimes being humble is necessary in the search for greater good.

I went and spoke to Sydell first, as he is what appears to be the leader of the group. He has a grisly disposition, I imagine stemming from his rustic upbringing, but at heart he is a trustworthy companion who has an astute sense of reason. He understood my intentions and his decision was to allow me to travel with the party.

Next came Penelope Naïlo. There was a palpable tension in the air that I couldn’t quite comprehend. Hopefully it will pass as I’m not sure what caused it to occur. She, similar to Sydell agreed without much argument. Her allure as a woman definitely doesn’t distract from her sensibility or judgment. She caught me off guard when she volunteered to leave the child, Serenity, with Steel Bouldergate and his regime. Penelope has an air of realism and depth that is hard to define. Mayhaps it is her elven heritage flowing through her delicate veins, or the otherworldly aura that separates her from others, but there is a charm that transcends my understanding.

Franz had no choice. There is little I can put in writing about the man as it would break promises and constitute a lie. These decisions may be the downfall of us entirely.

Lily “the Great.” What is there to say about her? She has both the attitude of a traveling performer and a court bard rolled up in the body of a lovely woman. However there is something about her that disturbs me. I imagine it may be her opinion of children or even her nonchalant idea of idle conversation. Either way she both understood my plea and was willing to allow my presence for the upcoming travel. Hopefully the tension will fade as we become companions, if that status is something we can achieve.

Entry 25

We set out a few days ago with the intention of reaching Instara swiftly. Thankfully the light shone on our path and we managed to arrive in the village of Thamis without issue. The local inn, The Willow Tree (an odd choice given the locale), had a various assortment of rough necks and merchant guards. The types of vagabonds that are found in these establishments sometimes astound me. As our mediocre lunch arrived so did a rum drenched shunt of a man berating my companions with insults and degradation.

This encounter swiftly erupted into conflict as he insulted both our integrity and our intentions. Upon his sacrilegious desecration of fine elven wine the line was drawn and Sydell took action. Knocking the aggregated asshole to the floor with a punch was satisfying to watch, even if a bit pedestrian. Sydell has a surprising amount of power in his farmer’s frame. However this escalated to the man drawing what appeared to be an item of dangerous power from within his cloak, causing me to take drastic measures. With the lives of fifteen people nearby I could not risk their safety. My mace sunk into his skull with a sickening thud as he released the orb in the direction of Sydell. Thankfully there was no eruption of cataclysmic proportions and a forcefield encompassed the small corner of the inn. His weakened condition and the intervention of his traveling companion stopped the tension before it could escalate. I healed the man and he was taken outside to be dumped in the horse trough.

Surprisingly, thanks to the meddling of my most troublesome travel-mate, we ended up traveling the rest of the way to Instara with the drunkard and his fellow caravan guards, aiding a middle-aged dwarf with his delivery of dyes and cloth. Penelope was quite interested and it appeared she purchased a few bolts or something of the sort during one of our frequent stops. I was unaware of her desire to create. Art is both a boon and an inspiration to those around us. Maybe I’ll have the opportunity to ask her about it in the days to come.

Entry 26

After our brief stay in Instara I must say I’m befuddled. Sydell labored me with information that I am not capable of dealing with. Penelope wishes to gain my attentions? Whether purely in a sexual discourse or in a more traditional manner I am unsure, but either way my aligned path toward the future feels as if it has taken a detour. Vows of poverty, purity, chastity, they are dreams and dedications. Not that I haven’t had the attentions of a woman before. Ania is ripe with harlots in the highs and lows of society. However I don’t believe those are the advancements that Penelope is making. She is a different breed. She is both beyond beautiful and is so enchanted by life that she radiates a wondrous quality to those around her. My heart wept for her upon her arrival back to the city. Such a strong will to bear the trials for one so young. I would shred the remains of the one responsible for her plight if I was capable. The very idea of what lengths I might go to is frightening. The entire idea of a future with a dedicated woman merits consideration, especially one such as the lovely Penelope.

Entry 27

Winter is upon us and the grasslands are shrinking around us, dying like the sun’s rays at the cusp of dusk. The worries of the road finally caught up to us. A sneak attack almost caught us unawares. If it wasn’t for the sharp ears of those with me we would have come out of the encounter with more than a few bruises and chilled bones. Orcs, the vile creatures of the northern territories descended upon us with a controlled precision and evil intent.

The initial coordination of their attack astounded me. Training and travel can only teach so much I suppose as this was not what I expected from such low brow beings. A wall of wind blocked our path as the orcs laid a cunning misdirection. We labored forward, wary of their magic and swords, unaware of the shifting ogre magi approaching from behind. If it wasn’t for the sly ways of my fellow follower of Lothar we may have perished at his hands alone. The battle was swift and deadly, as only those who have been in a furious melee can understand. Sydell rushed to the center of the fray while I stayed behind to guard our casters. There is a natural feel to the group; we understand our roles without question. After witnessing it first-hand there is no doubt that my companions have faced their share of battle together. Lily worked her magic with her harp and as if Lothar himself wanted to add dramatic effect the magi struck at the crescendo. A blast of cold straight from the artic straights descended upon our backs, bringing us to the edge of life itself. Sydell almost dropped from the single strike, it was as if one could see the ice form and sink into his very veins. If it wasn’t for the adept hands of Penelope and her wondrous staff we may have lost our resolve in that moment.

The rest of the battle was a blur of steel, spells, and the bold actions of what I can only assume was Lothar speaking through his followers. Orcs fell in a swath of swords, arrows and missiles. Lily took a scathing blow to her midsection which I did my best to stave off with my limited healing capability. While my attention was focused primarily on the well-being of Sydell and the women I must admit that Lothar himself must have been watching the fall of the ogre. It was done with precision and grace, a thing of near beauty if it wasn’t for the blood that laced the earth and the stench that filled the air. We won. That almost goes without saying but still I must thank Lothar for the blessings of my, dare I say it, friends? Together there is a bright future dedicated to helping those in need and ridding the world of the evils that spread across the vast lands of Dromaria.

Adventurer's Log 6 & 7
The Barbarians, a Dangerous Druid, and the Great Bronze Dragon

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God!! Our last adventure was crazy. Scary. Intense. Bizarre. I don’t even know what to say. Or how to think. Or feel.

I can’t even remember how it started. I’ve pretty much blocked out all details except for the incident. And I can’t stop playing it over in my head. It’s like Lily’s music box is looping the same horrific song over and over and over. MAKE IT STOP!!! I can’t sleep well. I wake up to myself screaming and writhing around, in a cold sweat because of the awful nightmares that just keep coming. I wish Marcel was with me. He’s somewhat cold and pompous, but something about him comforts me.

We were on a trek for bronze dragons. Me and Serenity, Lily, Sydell, Franz, and the barbarian, Ander. King “Steal” Steel Boldergate of Ander Hall sent us on a mission to find them. That part I remember. Anyway. We came to a wooded area on our travel. There was some debate as it if we should go around or go through. As a creature finely in tune with nature, I wasn’t opposed to going through it. But this time I should have been. As we made our way through the dark woods, I noticed a creature appearing and disappearing into the shadows, which troubled me greatly. Soon after, we stumbled upon a wolf a top the corpse of an orc. It was hurt pretty badly so we healed it. Little did we know that this wolf was a Druid. As soon as we healed him he turned into his human form. He was quite an attractive man, for a Druid. And he seemed rather nice. The rest of the group appeared to trust him so we followed him to his living quarters, a small shack and a tree house deep into the woods, to stay for the night.

Lily went to check out the tree house when we first arrived. Sydell and Ander stayed in while I accompanied the dwarf outside. I think he wanted to drink or something. He’s normally a jerk to me, but he was extra rude while I stood out trying to figure out what his take on this Druid was. He somehow managed to disappear without me noticing while I was talking to him. I don’t know if he casted some spell to make him stealth or what. When I realized I was alone, I went back in to check on everyone. The Druid was making an awful concoction for dinner. Lily, Sydell, and Ander began to eat. By the look of utter disgust on Ander’s face I could tell the food was awful, so I tried not to eat without being rude. Ander went out, possibly to vomit and that’s when I noticed something was not at all right. Lily and Sydell were following the Druid’s every wish like mindless drones. At first I thought they were just being polite to our host, but I soon realized something was off.

I tried to leave but the Druid slammed the door shut and casted a spell so it couldn’t be opened. I was beginning to panic. He was ordering Lily and Sydell, my companions, my friends, to turn against me! I soon found myself grappled by the overpowering Sydell. Luckily, I had casted a spell of protection on the baby right before this happened. The Druid was ordering Sydell to bring me to the bed! He “likes it when they struggle.”

“Oh God,” I thought. “How am I going to get out of this? I’m going to die. He’s going to slay me right here, with the help of my friends!” He turned back into wolf form and I screamed for Franz to help. I never thought I’d be depending on the dwarf to save my life. And nothing. No Franz. Lily and Sydell were trying to destroy me. To help the Druid take away my virtue. An act worse than murder. And Franz was no where to be seen. I shouted to him that the baby was in trouble. I know he doesn’t like me, but the baby belongs to his church. Maybe, just maybe, he’d come for her. All of the sudden I saw the window break, but no one had come through it, that I could see at least. Ander finally was able to break through the door. He and something else began to attack the Druid. I managed to quickly cast mirror image so the Druid couldn’t tell which copy of me was the real me. Franz appeared out of nowhere. Maybe he was what came through the window. I’m not sure. It’s all a little hazy. I looked around and noticed Lily had taken out her harp. There was depth in her eyes. Something had snapped. The spell she was under seemed to be broken. Sydell seemed to be coming to as well. As I struggled for my life my friends, yes, my real friends, began attack the Druid. Out of nowhere Franz pulled out a bear trap and snapped it shut right on the Druid’s ferocious face. I can’t believe a dwarf, a dim-witted, drunk bafoon, saved my life, my purity, my dignity. I will never be able to repay him…

I was pretty shaken up up at this point but from what I understand, Franz went nuts. He desecrated the Druid’s body. It worries me a bit, something seems…different about him. I mean, he’s always done what he’s had to to defeat our enemies. And yes, I’ve seen him burn bodies, but it’s because he didn’t want them to come back as undead. Man does that dwarf hate undead. But never, in all my time, have I seen him do what he did to that Druid’s body. It was horrific, much too brutal and gory to even mention again. shudders After doing this, he and Sydell searched the ground and found the remains of many, many other travelers buried in the garden. It all makes me so sick to my stomach. I was so lucky, or I would have been joining those decomposing bodies out back.

We traveled on the next day to find the dragons. All I wanted to do was get out of there. Get back to Ander Hall. To find Marcel. To feel safe. WE found a baby dragon and it’s very sick mother who was stuck in human form. Everything from this part of the trip is very foggy. I know Sydell took the human dragon into the lake to see if it could heal her. After, we decided to take both her and her baby back to Ander Hall to see if anything else could be done.

The trip home was long and cold. Winter is arriving. The first snow feel when we arrived at the great Ander Hall. It was beautiful. The whole city glittered in white, wintery glory. Something about the pure white, freshly fallen, undisturbed snow and the cold, brisk air began to help make me feel better. To feel clean and fresh and safe.

We’re back to Ander Hall now. I must go find Marcel. I hope he’s still here. I must speak with him. After what happened I don’t know if I can continue to keep little Serenity safe….


Adventurer's Log 4 AND 5

Hellloooooooo Refugees!!!!!!! I was saddened to hear that all of you were being sold into slavery and once you escaped you were forced to live in a hole in a mountain so I thought I’d sing a few of my favorite tunes to help ya through the tough times!!!!! (cheers)

Well, in case you missed it, we’re stuck in some funky ruins because the stupid dwarf man decided it was his “destiny” or some shit. That damned dwarf gets this group into the most dangerous situations! I try to tell them….ugh, anyway…Let me get you up to speed – there’s so much to tell you!!!!!

So, like the Dwarf said, we arrive back in town to a huge (and I mean HUGE) airship. This very rugged, dangerous looking man hands Franz a note. I have a really bad feeling about this. Since he’s not drunk yet he barely tells us anything, my guess is that he’s not intoxicated enough to remember the he can, in fact, read. The gist of it is that we’re going on yet another ‘adventure’ – I’m going to begin using that term very loosely.

When we get back to the inn and the ale starts flowing, the dwarf’s lips get a lot looser. He says that we’re to take the airship, with the baby – OMFG, did I not mention that we have a fucking BABY with us now??? SERIOUSLY?!?!? – across the pond to meet someone in a place called Shemeer. Never heard of it. HA! Anyway, everyone is having all these crazy dreams about this baby and they all agree that it’s a great idea. Again, bad feeling but nobody listens to the bard – what do i know! Hahahahahaha…ahem, excuse me. Sinuses.

So, this baby. I don’t get it. The elf has been literally goo-goo and ga-ga over that thing since she laid eyes on it. (Side note: why don’t the elf and dwarf just do it already? OMG Seriously.) The only dream I’ve had about the baby is that I’m supposed to protect Sydell from it. I’m not sure what that means, I just met him and he seems a bit odd, with the red eyes and fireball thing he does. Can someone please explain to me again what it was that made me go along with all this shit in the first place?!?! And it just gets better!

We’re on the big airship and the captain or whatever he’s calling himself, Harper, seems to be keeping an all too close eye on the new girlies aboard the ship. It’s weird. Kinda creepy and rapey. Anyway, Harper takes us on a tour of the ship, all up and down and around. It’s huge. We find our rooms and settle in for a really long trip. I hope it goes well.

Within the first few days, as we’re still getting acquainted with where everything is, we tend to get lost and find ourselves meeting everyone sort of one by one. The ship actually is quite big, but not all of it is accessible so the areas we travel in are limited to a degree. It seems to have about 20 people staff, doing some sort of task keeping us afloat. And I noticed there are two other passengers aboard who are not staff. Why would you travel this way by choice??? The first we encounter is Roth, a spellcaster of some sort I imagine. Harper said that this guy literally just travels around with them, going from port to port. That’s the life!!! Seems like a nice enough guy. Our other fellow traveler we heard about by word of mouth. His snooty, haughty attitude precede him – tee hee! Marcel is a half-elf whose nose is so high in the air, if it rained, he’d drown. Harper said that the crew doesn’t care much for Marcel, but that since it’s his first trip with the ship and he’s actually got a destination, they just stay away from him as much as he tries to avoid them. Sounds like a swell guy.

About 5 days into our trip one of the crew members is found dead aboard the ship. And, of course, it looks like he was drained of life. Can nothing just go smoothly?!?! The scooby gang heads to the scene of the crime to take a closer look. This is what we gathered from Harper and our own inspection of the room. It seems that the deceased, Rodney, 24, had been a crewman for a little over 3 years. When his roommate ended his shift and returned home that night he found Rodney dead and saw a ‘demonic female figure’ exiting through the porthole. A small claw mark was found on the floor next to the bed, like a single claw got caught – maybe like a talon mark. According to Harper’s infinite travel-wisdom, the body appears to have had it’s soul drained, by a possible demon.
The boys decided to go off on their own and do something manly so Penny and I decided to walk around and see if we could overhear anything from the crew. We find out that the crew is really shaken up and scared. The dwarf tells us that he was detecting some evil from Harper, which seems possible, the way he’s been looking at us. Disgusting. But, after all that investigating, we really couldn’t find anything to link any of the crew or travelers to the crime. Crew member Rodney will be sent home for memorial once we reach port at Staffons.

So, back to the weird baby. Penny wants us to call it ‘Serenity’. I don’t care for that. The Dwarf wants us to call it ‘Vagina Hawk’. I don’t understand that and I won’t dignify it with a response. Sydell wants us to call it ‘Skittles’, after his horse. No. I’m going to continue to call it ‘baby’, or ‘it’. I don’t like having the baby around. It scares me. It never cries or fusses. It seemed to be such a tiny baby when we got it, but now it’s getting pretty big and it doesn’t seem that enough time has elapsed for that to happen. I’m no expert in babies, never had any myself so I really can’t say for sure, but it just seems a little early for a 3 month old to have teeth. That just doesn’t seem normal to me and I’m very leery of that baby.

After we leave Staffons without event, thankfully, we’re on our way to our final destination – Shemeer. From what I know of the land, it’s very primitive in that no one from our lands typically go there. It may be filled with savages, but don’t fear ladies! No unwanted children of rape because they’re all sterile!!! Now that’s something to bring in the tourists!!! But that’s for later. So we’re on the big airship again, evil-eyes Harper is at it again, watching Penny and me with his ’I’m going to rape you’ look. At least all he’s doing is looking, as scary as that is. A couple days into our voyage another crew member died. Scooby gang to the rescue!
There are no direct witnesses, so we were quick to work. The deceased, Pierre, 41, had been a crewman for less than a year. There was redness around his mouth, as though his soul was sucked out through his mouth. The room appears that there was no struggle, but the body looks like he may have started to struggle there. He was working at the time this occurred, another crew member said Pierre had left his area to get some tools and never returned. When he didn’t return to his work area, people started to search for him and he was found in the supply closet. The room only has one entrance/exit. SPOOKY!!!!!
We really didn’t get much more information than that and the rest of the time we were aboard the ship no one else was attacked, no one died and no one even reported anything remotely suspicious! WTF??? I really hope that those deaths had nothing to do with us. I hope that baby isn’t bringing this crap with it. I can definitely say that before the baby came into my life, I had never put myself in so many ridiculously dangerous situations. Am I losing my mind? Or maybe my free will?

GOOD MORNING SHEMEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LAND HO!!!!!!!!! I kiss the ground and bless my feet for standing on it!!!! About 3 weeks after Pierre was found dead we arrived in Shemeer. Strange town. Pretty big, about 5-6k pop. It doesn’t outwardly feel very friendly for a port town, though. Those places have always felt like home to me, to some degree. Nothing about this place feels like home. So, off to the inn to get a room, some dinner and drink and SLEEP!!!! It’s going to feel amazing to sleep in a REAL bed – in a real building!!! On LAND!!!
At dinner I’m pretty sleepy. I don’t remember what I ate, if I ate, I know I had some drinks thanks to the dwarf. And I remember seeing a very snooty half-elf about. Hmmm. Why did he get off here??? Doesn’t matter much now, time for sleep. My eyes are SO heavy….

<groggy> What….what the hell? Is someone in here? OW!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK??!!!!!! Holy shit, holy shit….jump!!!!! Ouch. OMG uber ouch. What the hell is going on? Ouch. What the fuck was that Is that smoke??? Jesus, I gotta get up – OUCH. Penny!!!! PENNY!!!! Can you get out? What’s going on? Ouch. HOLY SHIT! Ummmmm…..oh shit, oh shit….Throw me the baby!!!!
(why did I say that?) Oh great. I saved the baby and everyone else is gonna die. Now I’m stuck out here with this thing. At least it’s quiet. It looks kinda scared. “Lullaby, and goodnight…” no, nothing. This kid’s weird.

So, to the new inn we go, nothing much left of the last one what with the apparent alchemist fire everywhere. Marcel in tow since Penny decided to use our staff of life on him – don’t get me wrong, she and everyone else in the party would probably be dead and I’d be left holding that weird kid. I’m pretty psyched that didn’t happen, but Marcel could go away and I’d be ok with it.
The next day we decide to send Marcel on his merry way, along with the baby and Penny (to assure the baby gets wherever safely) via Ishy’s Travel service. A very reputable service, it’s been in use for eons and trusted by all kinds in all kinds of places. Marcel and the transporter seem to have made it to wherever, but the transporter never returned. Since no one ever came back to take Penny and that baby, they came with us. And guess where we went? To find some ruins that the dwarf said we HAD to find. Something about it being his destiny. His destiny is going to be dead on a toilet like Elvish if he doesn’t slow down on that hooch. So sad, Elvish Kingsley had the most beautiful voice and hips that could literally bring down the heavens. But, I digress.

On the way to these ruins we had to camp overnight. The tiny little dwarven legs just can’t go as quickly as the rest of ours, and honestly, walking slowly just makes me feel tired. I decide to take first watch and so does that damned dwarf. Wouldn’t you know it – the dumbest criminals of all time decide to rob us on OUR watch! I woke the others and we annihilated them. Two idiots out for a few gold. Too bad for them and thank goodness my watch is over. Sleep!
We break camp as early as we can and not too far ahead we find a train of wagons, driven by 4 huge horses. Sydell runs up to stop them – why I do not know, I hid – and they do not halt. As they pass him, the driver whips Sydell in the face! Cling, clang, zoom, bang – there’s magic flying and blood gushing and then….a clay golem!!!!! And then a fucking fire breathing dragon!!!! Sydell is fighting the golem and we run away from the dragon, taking the clydesdales to quicken our trip. With Sydell no longer in sight and the dragon bearing down on us, from up ahead a voice – Hey! Over here! HURRY! We dismount and run toward a woman wearing worn plate and holding a war-weary shield. We three run hurriedly behind her into a large cavern. We wind around, running as if with new feet, to a large opening. The dragon is still behind us, unable to enter the small opening, thankfully. Sydell! I message him where we are and soon enough he joins us. The dwarf, now energized, decides to explore, while the rest of us stay behind with the refugees. I seek out the oldest looking refugee and decide to speak with her. Her name is Ceril and I showed her the gold clasp taken from a known member of a thieves guild. Ceril comes from Blarek and I figured she might know of the guild. She clams up! Not a word, almost seems afraid of it. I assure her I am only seeking knowledge about the item, and tell her how it came to be in my possession. She tells me that it’s from “the trust”, a group with unknown motives, comprised of the lowest of the low of society. This “Trust” group murdered her father, who was some high official in Blarek at the time of death. She vowed to avenge his murder – her eyes gleamed with an intensity rarely shown to someone left alive.

The dwarf returns and says he found the ruins. Off we go (hopefully not to our deaths!) into these supposed ruins, searching for some items his church or whatever is requiring of him. We entered a hallway with what appeared to be bedrooms on each side. All doors were open except for one – locked from the inside. As we walk further down the hallway, HELL HOUNDS!!! 4 of them!! Sydell was all, hack and slash, and Penny was all pew-pew and I don’t really know where the dwarf went…I sang my songs and shot as much as I could, I don’t really know what’s wrong with me lately, I’m usually such a good shot!! Anyway, dead are the hounds and on we go to the next room we spy – oh my, is that a little girl? Is she ok? What a creepy little doll….OMFG!?!?! What the hell are those things? And again, hack and slash, pew-pew, creepy doll impaled onto the bed, living dead girl dead once again. DAMMIT! Can these things not just go smoothly for like ONE freaking time?! Why am I here again? Anybody?!!!!
Ok, why do I get the feeling I need to go into the room that smells really, REALLY bad?? I don’t want to!!!!!!!

Adventerer's Log 3

Franz Thunderhammer here representing the Thunderhammer clan.

I woke up to some weird pibb* going that morning. Who has the audacity to wake a sleeping Dwarf? Not even the legendary Angus Neoll’s music should be playing during sleepy-time. I had this amazing dream where my bread grew back and my wife’s was shorter than mine and my kids stopping being sober and learned to drink ale. Who says 89 is too young to drink? Those damned Steelaxes, that’s who. They think they’re so special with their new forge. Anyway, I woke up to an explosion of sorts right in the middle of my amazing Dwarf dream. Did I mention I had a beard again?

I grabbed my armor, shield, warhammer, and a little sanity before rushing downstairs to see fire everywhere. Did those little embers party too hard and set everything on fire? Nope, this wasn’t ember-caused. Smoke was everywhere and thicker than last year’s wool sweaters. I heard someone cry help from behind the bar. THE ALE! Save the ale! That’s what I kept thinking until I went back and the ale was gone but Yaela was stuck under a burning chunk of wood. It was crazy to think that ale could scream help anyway. I summoned all my Dwarf power to life the log and help the woman escape to the outside. Wasn’t much better outside, let me tell you. Zombies. Zombies everywhere.

Yaela needed healing. I let loose some powerful healing and then made an obscuring mist to cover myself. The healing was so powerful it killed a zombie! My fellow adventurers were fighting zombies in the distance while I decided to don my armor. No sensible Dwarf enters combat naked! Yaela grabbed her cooking stick and ran off to kill them nasty undead abominations. Finally got the armor on with the help of a townsfolk just as the mist subsided. A zombie lurked around the corner! Just as he showed his jawless face an arrow flew through the air towards his morbid face. I swung my hammer faster than a Halfing pickpocketing a drunken orc. BAM! Down goes the zombie. Count a win for the Thunderhammers. All the other zombies were dead too. It must’ve been the shine of my armor that made them drop dead again.

My fellow adventurers ran through this shiny fancy-pants magic portal to follow this Halfling that seemed to cause all this trouble. That little fellow is the same one that stole my headband! Into the portal we went. The stonecunning was so different down here. Lieutenant smashface went about smacking the midget around. He hit him so hard he dropped his staff! It was a good thing too since his midget magic was making the floor disappear. After his face got smashed in I got my family’s headband back. Passed down from generation to generation, this headband is what makes a Thunderhammer. All of a sudden, we were teleported to the crazy lady in the water. I was so sober I can’t recall what happened. Regardless, we went back to the town that was on fire and they were rebuilding!

How do humans build so fast? Did they go to Brownbrew University too? I have such great memories from my old Dwarf school. There were weekly Halfling Bowling tournaments and the bar that never closed. Get out of Brewing 101 class, get drinking, pass out, get drinking, and go to Brewing 101 class the next day. Not a sober face in sight. I can almost smell the burning embers and hear the clank of metal on red hot metal.

Anyway, back to the humans rebuilding their town. Turns out we had been gone for two weeks! The blight had receded faster than my father’s hairline. Humans aren’t all too bright since there was a giant ship sitting outside town. Who builds a ship made for the ground? What’s it going to do, sail on hopes and dreams? Well, turns out the ship was going to take us places.

A lad named Harper comes down to greet us and hands me a letter from the head my religion. The letter says this man was hired to pilot this ship on land and take us to a new place. Again, I was too sober during this point in time to care where we were going. I needed to find out how this ship works so I boarded it and asked around. Turns out the giant thing sails in the air! I knew it. The ship floats on hopes and dreams.

Well, other stuff probably happened that wasn’t nearly as amazing as my armor and shield. I’m sure I’ll get drunk sometime and ask the bard what happened. She’s really good at remembering things. I hope she remembers how baby crazy the elf is. The elf tried telling us about this dream she had about a baby. This Dwarf doesn’t know a thing about elf babies or why elves want them so badly.

noun, verb, interjection, vulgar.
1. Slang. Something interior or worthless.
–verb (used without object)
1. Slang. To meddle (usually followed by with).
–verb phrases
1. pibb around, Slang.
a. to behave in a frivolous or meddlesome way.
1. Slang. (used to express anger, disgust, disappointment, frustration, or the like, often followed by a pronoun as you or it).
1. give a pibb, Slang. To care; be concerned.

Adventurer's Log 2
The Deceptive Halfling
Sydell Mazer here and boy did we have a crazy one this week. After Franz had disappeared into Gods know where it left Penelope, Lily, and I alone to figure what happened and where we go from here. We decided not to pursue him through what we assumed to be a spell circle since none of us knew what had become of him or even if he had survived. We decided to head back to town thinking maybe the blight had lessened and maybe getting a good nights rest. On the way back to town we encountered a halfing. He said his name was Lanfain and that he had just escaped from a cave where Franz was currently being held. Lily seemed suspicious of him but he seemed alright to me so we followed him into the cave. Once we got inside that damn shifty Halfling bailed on us and caused a cave-in! Luckliy there was a door so we werent completely stuck. The problem was that there was a strange noise coming from the other side. Caustiously, I open the door and peer inside to discover… Franz! Apparently after he had come through the spell he had ended up here and was taken prisioner, many of his items being confiscated during the encounter. Somehow, with the help of an unconcious prisoner named fletcher, he had managed an escape. Unfortuanatly we couldnt very well come back the way we came and they still held the Sword of the Blight so we began our descent. Along the way we encounter a strange room. There are four entranced people in four sepreate summoning circles. We decide to take them out while they are distracted. I use my Ring of invisability and creep up behind one. I swing my mighty scythe and… throw it across the room! What do you expect from me? Im a damn farmer, what the hell do I know about killing people? With the element of surprise ruined all hell breaks loose. Lily and Penelope combining Spell and Song to weave a path of distruction while Franz was doing all he could to keep his uncounsious companion alive. I make a run for my Scythe but not before one of the wizard got there shoot. He used some kind of Ice power and id never felt pain like that before in my life! None of the others spells hurt like his, it was all very confusing. Eventually we overwhelm them and are victorious, but it is short lived as our world is shattered. Im visited by a terrible dream. Its pretty fuzzy at the momment but we will just say there was some terrible force threating to tear my soul asunder. What could it mean? Does it have something to do with that damned Box? Maybe it explains these strange powers ive been discovering… We awake in a deep cavern. Apparently when we killed those magic users it disrupted the spell so bad that it exploded in our face and sent the floor to give way. Everyone seemed ok and even Fletcher was on his feet, though much worse for wear id say. Lily and Penelope produce light to ease or time through the cavern which was good cause I couldnt see dick. We enter a section of cavern with large stlagmites. There are strange noises coming from them so i go to investigate. All of a sudden Im being attacked! They seem to be tiny but I cant see them as they slowly tear me to shreds. Penelope throws her light to me so i can see what is killing me but even with the light they seem indistinguishable from the rock around them. My compatriots didnt have any better luck spotting them either. As my body was giving way I knew I could not take much more of this and something seemed to… brake inside. I was engulfed and a gigantic ball of fire. It layed waste to all my enemies yet it left me no worse of then I had been. The strange part is that I was the one that had summoned the fire and I knew i could do it again whenever there was a great enough need, but it seemed terrible and wrong somehow. A strange being suddenly came into to view. He called himself an Ember and he looked like a little lizard man. He said the creatures i had killed were natural enemies of the embers and to thank us he offered to escort back to his home town and then to the surface! We all new that this small one, unlike that bloody halfling, was sincere so we followed him. He almost seemed to make his own tunnels and doors as he could manipulate stone with just a touch of his hand! We get to his town. We rested there for the evening before heading back to the surface. Before we left one of the embers asked us to take one of there sick to the bottom of Shelter Lake where there is a being capable of healing him so we agree to it. Once were back to the surface we immedaitly take the ember to the Lady under the lake where she healed him and sent us back to the surface with few words exchanged. I think she enjoys being enigmatic. We go to the mayor of shelter lake who is actually looking a bit better ad tell him what had transpired. we head back out and discovering a garishly dressed many bring a fancy wagon through town. He said hes name was Pierce and he dealt in Magical Goods trade. We traded with him for several items myself getting a giant new Falcion that works better in the cold!. We had discovered a strange coin during our travels and he tells us he doesnt want to talk to us about it out here and that we were to talk to him later that night. We spend the rest of the day making sude Fletcher was all settled in, apparently his wife had left him while he had been locked away. What a bitch. Later that night we discover from Pierce that the coin is a symbol from a famed thieves guild In Blareg. We also discover that Lanfain is the apprintice to the son of one of the Lords of the Towers. His name is Amos. Having some strange links to connect and bone tired from a day of pilfering through the underground we head to our rooms for a night of rest.
Adventurer's Log 1
Undead, the blight, and the teleporting dwarf

These last few days have been rather eventful. I stumbled across a small village, Shelter Lake, while looking for tailoring work. Something was very off about this village. No one was on the streets or even at the town square. The day was bleak and grey. There was no sign of any wildlife or crops. It was all very bizarre. I stopped in at a quaint little inn, The Dragon’s Roost, that was run by a very curt dwarf woman. She was rather rude to me, but I’m certain it’s because of my superior intelligence and more than likely, my stature! When I arrived three other travelers, a middle aged human, a beautiful young bard, and another squat little dwarf, were resting and enjoying the inn’s finest (which isn’t saying much) ale. Whilst sipping on The Dragon’s Roost‘s poor excuse for wine, I overheard the innkeeper discussing the village’s horrible predicament with the young bard, Lily. Apparently, the village had been afflicted by a blight. The undead have been attacking the townspeople, a curfew has been put in place, and people have been mysteriously infected with disease. The mayor, who is one of the many disease ridden townspeople, is offering 200 gold REWARD for each person who helps to rid the town of the blight. My ears perked up at this! Seeing I’ve been struggling for work for many moons, I’m willing to do just about anything to make ends meet and I certainly wouldn’t mind helping out the people of Shelter Lake, even if some are pesky little dwarfs.

The little squirt of an innkeeper also told of how the morale of the town has been very low since the blight began. Lily happens to be a traveling performer so she suggested putting on a show to raise the townspeople’s spirits. Although I’m normally prone to sticking with my own kind, this bard appears to be very intelligent and full of wit, which I’m intrigued by. I decided to see if she’d be interested in a costume for the show. She was delighted! As was I! It’s nice to have some work to do. I think she and I will be great companions.

After a few grunts, the innkeeper directed me to a fabric merchant, Patricia Finegold. She was hesitant to tell me, but since I’m helping bring her revenue she finally gave me the information I was after. Maybe if she’s lucky, I’ll fashion her a little tunic. Anything would look better than that potato sack of a dress she was wearing!

I found Patricia Finegold a little ways down the street. She was suspicious when I first arrived, but soon livened up once I told her what I was looking for. Her stock consisted mostly of cotton, which would do. Unfortunately, she had no silk or lace. We elves can create the most beautiful of dresses, especially with fine fabric such as that. I purchased a spool of gold and violet fabric and hurried back to the inn to get to work. After many grueling hours, I had fashioned Lily the most beautiful of dresses. Long, draping sleeves, with gold tubing at the bodice and caps of the sleeves. A dress fit for a…well not…no, even with the cotton, it was a dress fit for a princess! Lily was absolutely delighted with the finished product. Her eyes lit up like wild—a response I see a lot with my craftsmanship.

A little after presenting Lily with the dress, the male (now fairly drunk…which I presume is common) dwarf, Franz, heard a strange muffled cry from outside. The three other travelers, Lily, Franz, and the human, Sydell, ran outside to investigate. I stayed back to detect if any magic was being used. When I came outside, I saw four zombies and a human caster. The caster appeared to be kidnapping a young girl. We had to act fast. There wasn’t much time to think. One wrong move and the girl (and possibly us) was done for!

Lily inspired the group through heroic songs. Sydell made his first move, but missed the caster. I cast my elemental ray and hit the caster with a bolt of lightning. Franz knocked out one of the zombies. Surprisingly enough, the four of us worked very well as a group. One by one we defeated the zombies and took out the caster. The girl fled to safety. We ransacked the dead bodies and among the rancid, rotting flesh found a dagger, a scroll, and a map.

Lily got to work translating the map immediately, but even with her translation it was still foreign to us. We figured it’d be best to ask the mayor the next day if he knew any of the markings.

The next morning we arose and immediately began preparing for the day’s festivities after breakfast. Franz stumbled down later than the rest of us, hungover, and wasn’t much use the rest of the day. Lily and I put up tapestries and set up table centerpieces with what little plant life we could find, while the two men went off the check on the young girl from the previous night’s attack. The performance was a hit! The entire town had heard of what we had done the night before and came down to meet us and see Lily perform. Lily really is a very talented performer. She sang and danced and held an archery contest. The townspeople all got very involved and I even took a shot with the bow and arrow. Being proficient with a longbow, I performed very well. Lily’s last act was absolutely amazing. She wore the beautiful gown I made her and looked absolutely stunning, might I add. She sang an enchanting, melodic song. The way she completely captivated the audience was extraordinary. The townspeople left, stomachs full and hearts full of merriment and hope. At the end of the performance the mayor came to personally thank us and to offer any support.

We asked the mayor to take a look at the map we had acquired. He recognized some of the markings and told us how long travel would take. He left and returned with four steeds and rations for our trip. We retired early that evening, except for the Franz who stayed up to drink himself into a stupor and flirt with the innkeeper. What he sees in her, I will never understand. Dwarf women look exactly the same as their men!!

Sydell woke us at dawn the next morning and we headed out to our first stop, the old graveyard. It was about half a day’s travel. When we arrived I noticed it didn’t even appear to be touched by the blight. Flora and fauna flourished. The graves were clearly unattended for years. Tombstones were knocked over and crumbling apart. The graves had been dug up. Clearly someone was looking for something. Maybe grave robbers. While the graves were disheveled, the bodies were undisturbed. It was quite an alarming sight. Behind the graves stood a mausoleum. It was large, made of stone, and covered in ivy. When we approached the front door, we noticed two zombies standing guard. When I saw the zombies, I immediately used the power of my Ring of Chameleon and blended in to the surroundings. Franz drew attention to the group, as an overconfident dwarf would, while Lily raised the troupes’ morale. Sydell apparently also has a special power that allows him to become invisible and sneaked up on the first zombie and took him out with one blow! I cast my elemental ray of lightning and stunned the other zombie while Franz charged and attacked. Within minutes, the four of us had taken out the zombie guards. We were positioned with our next challenge when we discovered the front door was locked from within. I enchanted Sydell and make him larger. He then stormed the door, with little result. He searched the other sides of the mausoleum and found a weak wall. He struck the wall with his scythe and created an entrance for us. Lily bravely entered the mausoleum first to check to see if it was safe. When we received her blessing, the three of us joined her inside. The inside of the mausoleum must have possessed some magical being. When I entered, a feeling of pure rejuvenation rushed over me. It was incredible. There, in the center of the mausoleum sat a glass tomb, with a mummified man inside. On top of the glass was a large coin with a sword in scripted on it. Franz immediately reached for the coin. We examined the man in the tomb and noticed he was clutching an old, tattered book. After much discussion, we decided it would be best to break the glass and retrieve the book. The book was so fragile that when opened the pages began to disintegrate. Franz used his mending powers to preserve it. We then, decided to travel back to the inn to rest for the next day’s journey and to decipher the book.

I stayed up late that night reading over the book and discovered that it was the man’s travel log. He was a legendary hero who traveled the land, ridding it of the blight. He had discovered that there was a sword trapped in a stone somewhere. The only way to retrieve the sword was to somehow unite the coin with the stone on the new moon. When possessed by a goodly person, the sword would rid the land of blight. However, if possessed by an evil person, the sword would bring about the blight. It the sword ended up in the wrong hands the outcome for the entire village of Shelter Lake looked very bleak!

The next day we prepared for our upcoming journey. After looking over the map, we decided it would be best to go search the forest for the sword. Our map had a few markings that we were uncertain of. The forest was marked with a sword, so we thought that maybe this was the place we would find it. It took about a day and a half to get to the forest. We arrived the day of the new moon. Once there, we discovered a clearing. As dusk settled, and night sunk in a large stone appeared in the center of the clearing. Inside this stone was the treasured sword! All we had to do was figure out how to work the coin’s magic and retrieve the sword. But the end of the blight would not come that easy. As the stone appeared so did an earth elemental. Sydell and I fought off the elemental while Lily and Franz tried to figure out how to get the sword out of the stone. I took a life threatening blow to the arm and was left injured on the sidelines, but Sydell came to my rescue and destroyed the earth elemental with brute strength! As the earth elemental crumbled in defeat, Lily placed the coin atop the stone and it melted away. Franz seized the sword. The only information we knew about the sword was that when possessed by a goodly person, it could rid the village of the blight. Franz swung it around idiotically, but nothing happened. We decided to rest and travel to the next stop on our map, the Ruins.

The following day, we journeyed to the Ruins. We arrived there after a day and a half’s travel. The Ruins appeared to be an old building that had crumbled to nothing but a foundation. As we looked around, I noticed five strange markings on the ground, four around the outside, and one in the center. After examining them, I realized they were magical markings, each with a different purpose. However, I was uncertain of what magical purpose each marking held. Still not knowing exactly how to access the power within the sword, Franz entered the middle marking. He cast a spell and some of the blight in the area receded. Being a dimwitted dwarf, Franz sat down in the middle marking. As quick as a blink of an eye he had disappeared! Where had he gone? Did he possess an invisibility power that we did not know about? And if so, did he cast it and escape with the sword to claim the reward for himself and leave us in the dust? Had the blight really been conquered? All these questions and more raced through my head as we, the three remaining travelers, made our way back to Shelter Lake.

Until next time…



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